My grown up Christmas list

Now that Christmas Day has come and past, we look under the tree to find it empty. No more wrapped presents, no more cookies to bake. The preparations for this big day have ceased. Although still the season of Christmas, we no longer have the opportunity to add to our Christmas wish list. As a little girl, it was easy to tell my mom what I wanted for Christmas. I loved princess dolls. In my teenage years, I got more in to glittery and sparkly things…fashionable clothes. Jewelry, perfume, movies, nail polish…those were all easy things to come up with. But now as a grown woman, when asked what I wanted for Christmas, the things my heart most desires cannot be found under a Christmas tree and they cannot be bought in a store. So to all the women who can relate to this fact, what do we do when the things we want the most, can only be given by God and we have to resign ourselves to patience in God’s timing? My saintly grandmother used to say that “God walks with a crippled foot.” This means that God always hears our prayers, whether it is the type of answer we look for or not. But it also means that sometimes, God works very slowly. He will hear our prayer slowly but surely. And sometimes God’s yes is a no. I have come to find in my short  life that God wishes us to give up our deepest hearts desires for now, until He is ready and until we are ready for Him to fulfill them. So what do we want for Christmas, and not just Christmas but any day of the year? Our deepest hearts desires are even more amplified around the joyous, peaceful and loving time of the Christ child’s birth. I know what I want, and I know what you want. You and I both desire love. A deep, passionate, unconditional love from a man. Several times in my life, I had thought I found it but the things that didn’t work out, I later thanked God for it because what I wanted was detrimental to my path in life and a danger to me. But we still want love, we want happiness, we want joy and peace and tranquiluty. We women were made with the instinct and desire to have children, to literally create a life because of that love that we have. We desire to grow old with one person and share a life with them, and for the legacy of love and peace to carry on for generations and generations. I understand your heart because my heart feels the same. Everyone and everything needs to be loved because God is love and created us out of love, for love and to love. Without love, what does our life mean? So during the season of Christmas, when love is so deeply desired, how can we “get through” without being bitter for the things that are lacking under the shining lights of the Christmas tree? The answer is simple but tough: let go. Let’s give back to God our deepest desires. He knows our heart…He created it. He understands our human desire to have that unconditional love from one person. If we give our will up to Him, He will give it back to you. This is a test of true love and true faith. The test of true faith is believing without understanding. God never asks us to do something that makes us unhappy. Remember that God asked of Abraham the thing he loved the most, his son Isaac. Once God knew that Abraham had resolved himself to His will, God in His love and mercy gave it back. God will do the same for you and I. So for this Christmas season, as it comes to a close, let’s give Christ the greatest gift we could give: our heart. Let the peace, love and infinite joy of Christ’s birth, be born in your heart this Christmas and for every Christmas to come.

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